


Secret

by flippantninny



Series: Bethyl Week [1]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 21:25:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2165757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flippantninny/pseuds/flippantninny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bethyl Week Day 1</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret

**Author's Note:**

> For the first day of Bethyl Week.

Everyone had a glass of some form: a plastic cup, a bowl that was once meant for cereal, a mug. It probably wasn’t sensible, everyone drinking, but somehow no one could manage to be the rational one, no one could spoil the night and tell them they needed someone on guard, a couple of people to stay sober and watch for walkers. They were almost safe anyway. The building was secure, there had been no signs of walkers for a couple of days, and no signs of other people in weeks. If ever there was a night for everyone to enjoy a glass of wine and the company of family, this was it.

So everyone was sat around the fire, watching the smoke rise up into the chimney and the flames flicker, sipping on their ration of wine. Even Carl had a small cup. It was nice, a calm few hours in an otherwise restless world.

"Almost reminds me of the CDC," Carol said, taking a sip of her wine, "you know, I think that was the last night I felt truly safe. I think that was the happiest night I’ve had since all this started."

Beth had heard stories about the CDC, about Jenner the scientist who told Rick everyone was infected. She remembered Andrea’s words at the farm house, the choice she’d made at the CDC. She’d never imagined it as a happy place, but she understood why Carol would. It was the last home they had before Sophia happened. The last place they had proper showers and a real meal and could afford to get drunk and pretend the world was as it was before the dead woke up, the last place they could afford to actually relax without worrying about walkers. To Carol, it must have been the last place there was hope.

"That was a good night," Rick said, "next mornin’ wasn’t quite so nice," he added, looking at Daryl with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah, haven’t had a hangover like that in a while," Daryl said, but a smirk found its way to his face too. The CDC may not have been a nice experience overall, but that had been a good night. Real food, real alcohol, and real safety. There wasn’t really much else he could have wished for at the time.

"Still not the happiest I’ve been since all this, happiest I’ve been was getting to the Atlanta camp, finding my family," Rick said, looking over at his son, who nodded in acknowledgement.

"Me too," Carl said.

"I was happy when I found you two," Michonne said, nodding to Carl and Rick, "after the prison I thought I was alone again, finding that house and seeing you, I don’t think I’ve ever been more relieved."

"The first night at the prison was a good one too," Maggie said, as she leant into Glenn, "Beth’s singing and everyone around the fire. Daddy was so happy we had found somewhere to stay. Like we’d finally found a home."

The Greene sisters looked at each other. Neither had finished grieving their father’s death, they probably never would, but they could mention him now, remember him at his happiest, remember his pride in his family, not just Beth and Maggie, but all of them.

"Any night Beth sang was a good one," Carl said, smiling at Beth. He had given up on anything past platonic interactions ever happening between him and Beth, but their friendship remained a strong one.

Daryl watched as a slight blush crept up Beth’s face as it always did what attention was placed on her and compliments were given to her. He’d missed her most of her singing that night, had been too busy talking to Carol, but he could certainly attest to the fact Beth Greene’s singing was present in one of his happiest nights since the world had fallen to shit.

"The day we got married too," Glenn said, speaking to Maggie but talking loud enough that the whole group could hear, "that night was a good one."

"I bet it was," Tara said, laughing along with everyone else as Maggie’s face reddened.

"No, not that, well, yeah that, but not just that," Glenn fumbled, "it was just nice, you know, knowing we could have some normalcy, like we might not survive long but at least we can still get married, at least we still get to be a husband and wife."

Beth understood. She understood completely. The night she got abducted was in no way her happiest night in all this, but the moments before she was taken, when she was presented with the reality of having a home, having a life, being domestic with Daryl Dixon. That had been a happy moment. Maggie and Glenn may not have been able to move in together and shop for furniture and buy a dog and have kids, but they at least had a life together.

Tyreese nodded as well, “I get it,” he said, “Karen and I weren’t as together as you two are, but those moments with her, when I could see a future, that’s when I was happy.”

"In that tunnel," everyone looked at Eugene, "it made me happy, seeing Glenn and Maggie. And after   
Terminus too, when we found her,” he pointed at Beth, “that made me happy.”

Beth smiled and Daryl noticed the flush in her cheeks again. It was probably just the wine, making her flush. That and the attention falling again on her.

Rick nodded in agreement, “that was a good day.”

It had been a good day, the day she had found her family again, but it wasn’t Beth’s happiest. She wasn’t sure what the happiest was, it was either playing the piano until she’d played every song she knew, then turning round to see Daryl asleep in the casket, arm resting on his forehead, looking younger than he had since they’d first met, or it was walking away from that burning shack, knowing that something had changed. That night they hadn’t just broken down a barrier, they had exploded walls, shattered guards and left their pasts burning in their wake. It hadn’t been a happy day, and it had barely been a happy night, but walking away from their pasts and knowing they had a future she had felt nothing short of elation.

But that was between her and Daryl. It was their secret.

They hadn’t discussed it and decided not to tell anyone, it was just an unspoken thing between them. When she had been reunited with the group and everyone was telling their stories of the time since the prison, and Ty and Carol had mentioned seeing a fire, they had both immediately known what the fire was. But they said nothing, just looked at each other, shared a secret smirk, and agreed without words that no one needed to know about that night.

It had been the same with the funeral home. Daryl had told them the basics, that they had been there a couple of nights before the walkers attacked, but no one had been told of their plans to stay, their plans to live there, even if it was nuts.

"How about you, Daryl?" Rick asked, looking over at his second-in-command.

"Iunno," Daryl said, shrugging, "when we found the prison I guess," he said, but his eyes found Beth’s and she knew immediately that his favourite night wasn’t one that involved the whole group, it was one between him and her, one of their secrets. She wasn’t sure which one, she smiled at the thought that Daryl had been at his happiest falling asleep in a casket while listening to her singing, but his happiest moment could have just as easily been an afternoon spent tracking a deer with her or building a camp with her or teaching her to fire his crossbow. All that mattered was that is involved her, and with his eyes still trained on her there wasn’t a single part of her that doubted that it did.

"I was happy walking into Terminus," Bob said, and the group turned their focus from Daryl to him, while Daryl and Beth’s eyes lingered on each other, sharing another secret smile, "we were wrong, of course, but walking in there I was happy, thought we might finally have found some place worth finding."

Sasha nodded, “I didn’t trust Terminus when we were looking for it, but I agree with Bob, arriving there we were happy, there was something nice about thinking we might have a new home.”

After the stories she had heard about Terminus Beth didn’t think she would ever associate it with the word ‘happy’ but Glenn, Maggie, Eugene, Abraham, Tara and Rosita all nodded in agreement. The other four of the boxcar’s inhabitants hadn’t had such a pleasant arrival, but she could almost understand why the rest of them might have been happy to find Terminus.

Daryl looked down at his now empty mug of wine and glanced up at everyone else’s. Carl was still working on his share, but everyone else had finished and half the group looked like they were ready to fall asleep sitting there.

Judith, still barely a over year old and the only member of their group abstaining from the alcohol, appeared to agree it was time for bed, reaching up to  try and grab her daddy’s beard. Daryl considered for a moment that they were all happy now. They had suffered their losses and had plenty of reason to be sad, but everyone around the fire had a content expression on their face, and Rick was smiling as he looked down at his daughter.

"Drink up, Grimes, should be getting’ to bed," Daryl said, smirking as Rick shook his head in disapproval when Carl finished the last half of his drink in one go. It was a weak wine, and their rations were small, he doubted any of them had felt any of its effects, but there was something about watching the boy drink it quickly in defiance. Something that almost resembled teenagers getting drunk off booze stolen from their parents on loud summer nights. A flicker of the world before.

"All right, hot shot, don’t have to chug it all," Rick said, standing up as almost everyone else stood to head upstairs.

"I’ll stay down here, sleep on the couch," Daryl said. The house had enough rooms for everyone to only have to share with a couple of other people, but he was happy to sleep on the couch anyway. As secure as the house was, it was sensible to have someone at the ready if there was an emergency.

"I can sleep down here too, might be safer?" Rick offered, but Daryl shook his head, pointing out that walkers weren’t getting through the door and he was just staying downstairs as a precaution.

"No need for both of us to end up with stiff backs," he said, kicking out the fire as the rest of the group disappeared up the stairs.

He settled into the couch, thinking of the stories they had just shared. The couch wasn’t too uncomfortable, if he was honest. He’d had far worse beds in the past few months, the couch was probably his best bed since the casket.

Daryl felt his eyes closing, and while the idea of a night of deep sleep wasn’t exactly the safest bet, he didn’t want to complain about actually sleeping well for a change.

His thoughts were wandering to songs about shotgunning beers and laying in the lawn when he heard feet padding down the stairs. His eyes shot open, his hand automatically reaching for his bow, when a familiar voice whispered “it’s just me,” and Beth was suddenly in front of him, waiting for him to move so she could fit on the couch with him.

"You smell like wine," he said, as she curled against him, resting her face against his chest.

"Taste like it too," she said, and he could feel her mouth forming a smirk against his skin.

He smiled, contemplating how true that was, how much the taste of wine would have remained in her mouth and how much he would still taste it if he were to kiss her. There was a time when kissing her was everything. When given the choice he would have chosen to never let his lips part hers. But tonight  he decided against it. He was too comfortable with her cuddled against him, too content in this moment. A kiss would mean disrupting the balance of the couch and as much as he loved kissing Beth Greene it could wait until the morning because her breath against his chest and her hair tickling his chin and the knowledge that he got to fall asleep with her in his arms was too perfect to end.

"You never said your happiest moment," he said, "everyone else did but you."

She sighed against him.

"I think everyone just assumes it was when I found you all," she said.

"It wasn’t?" he replied. He had hoped it was a moment before that. Their reunion had been great, had been worth the days of sweating in the Georgia sun and chasing white crosses on the backs of cars and vans. Their reunion was a mess of hugs and apologies and family. It was, perhaps, the most relieving moment of his life, but his happiest moments were before then, when it was just him and Beth, before every happy moment was shared with over a dozen other people. Part of him felt selfish that he had been his happiest after they lost their home, but mostly he didn’t care. Falling in love with Beth was the best time of his life, and he had felt enough guilt over the details of it, now he looked back at it with nothing but fondness. From walking away from the moonshine shack until the moment of realisation, the "oh." Nothing could taint those memories.

"No. I mean, it was great, but I was really happy at the funeral home. You know, before everything. When we thought we could have lives there. And burning down the shack, I was happy when we did that," Beth said, as though reading his mind. He would never understand why, but she was happy to fall in love with him, and he might not deserve it but if she was willing to give that to him he would take it.

"Me too," he said, rubbing circles into her arm as he held her against him.

"What was your happiest moment?" she asked, shifting herself slightly so she could look at him. He looked down at her, meeting her gaze in the dark room, the blue in her eyes ever present, even in almost complete darkness.

"Not sure. I think it’s like Maggie and Glenn were saying, like Ty said, it’s not really specific moments anymore."

Beth nodded against him, “it’s when you can see a future, when you know you have a life with someone and it might last.”

Daryl tightened his arm around her as she returned her head to where it was, no longer facing him but rested against his chest, listening to his hear beat beneath her.

"Is that what we have?" he asked, an indulgent smile on his lips, "a life together?"

She nodded again, her hair brushing against his chin and her eyelashes brushing against his chest.

"A secret life," she said, "you and me sneaking around in the middle of an apocalypse."

His smile deepened, his thumb continuing to rub circles into her arm as she began doing the same with her thumb on his chest beside her head.

"We should probably tell them," Daryl said, "gonna wake up too late to sneak back to our own beds one day. People won’t mind us being together but Maggie won’t like you not tellin’ her."

Beth shook her head.

"Not yet, this is still ours, I don’t want it to be theirs too, not yet."

"Okay," he said, pressing his lips to her head then closing his eyes as he felt hers close against him. He understood why she wanted to keep it secret. It was the same reason they hadn’t told anyone about the moonshine shack and they had omitted the key details of the funeral home. They weren’t ashamed, weren’t worried about judgement and disapproving stares, they just wanted to have this thing be theirs. They had found a life together. A damn romance novel despite all the odds stacked against them. One day everyone would know, and that would be fine, but while he felt her breath evening out against his skin and her hand relaxing against his chest as it always did when she fell asleep, he couldn’t help but agree with her. This was happiness. She loved him, and he loved her, and that wasn’t finite, it wasn’t going to run out when they told everyone about it. But for now they were the only two people in the world who knew. It was special, their own private thing, and he wanted to keep this a secret as much as she did. Not his secret, not like the secrets on his back that wore him down and almost broke him. No, this secret was shared, this secret lifted him up and made him happy. This secret was theirs, and he didn’t want to share it with anyone but Beth. Not yet.


End file.
